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  • Riding on a boda: it might be a short distance, and you can afford not to walk.
  • Wearing a tie: you've got a respectable job. (Side-note: ties are to be worn short. That's the only fashion trend in Kampala.)
  • Talking with other people who are higher in the social chain: there must be a reason they respect you.
  • Wearing headphones: they imply an MP3 player. (This display is somewhat rare, perhaps because theft is likely.)
  • Being married: a wedding ring commands an enormous amount of respect.

Beyond purely aesthetic considerations, further discriminations can be made in conversation with somebody or by vising his home. (Alarm bells should be ringing back home: I used his instead of a gender-neutral pronoun! ...Let's not go there, okay?) A quick glance around a home can reveal:

  • Cleanliness: All homes should be impeccably clean. (I imagine this is more than purely cosmetic: with all homes being partially open to the outdoors, pest control is necessary.)
  • Candles: candles indicate poverty, despite the fact that there's no electricity a third of the time. Instead, use a lantern, a lamp (flashlight), or nothing.
  • Pictures: a picture of HME President Museveni is a nice touch; a Pope looks good, too.
  • Children: producing more children contributes more to the future of Uganda. A respectable patriot should have a large family.

As a mzungu, I've had to stay longer than a month to grasp some of these indicators. But once you start, you just can't stop: walking down the street, I now automatically categorize everybody I see into my dozens of neatly-defined wealth brackets. Now, don't get on my case about prejudice: everybody else does it, too; and they're even better at it. You do want me to fit in here, right?

Fun Fact: According to the United Nations Population Division, the average age of Uganda's 28 million people is just 15.3 years. In Japan and most European countries, average age ranges between 40 and 43 years. Most Ugandans are under 15 years of age!