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One-Touch Friends
Challenge: I can only provide a fleeting glimpse at last weekend's magic; do so with only one sentence per picture.
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Saturday morning, Caitlin, Rebecca and I departed from Stone Town in a dala-dala to Jambiani, on the eastern side of Zanzibar's Unguja island.<%= image_tag 'blog/tz-otf2.jpg' %>
We ate on the beach and played one-touch football (soccer without dribbling) with some local youths, who later took pictures of themselves and us. -
Dedicated to a Nameless Thief
Thank you. You taught me That God does not kill people People kill people -
Targeted Advertising
Challenge: this topic could go on forever. Abbreviate it into a single sentence. I have yet to decide which frustrate me more: the soda, beer, and cell phone ads, targeted at everybody, designed to relieve the poor of every scrap of disposable income, preventing their saving money to escape their plight; or the large-screen television, private school, and bank loan ads, targeted at the tiniest minorities with huge excesses of wealth, essentially taunting most of the people reading them. -
Black and White
Challenge: alternate between black and white paragraphs.
There is a mall in Dar es Salaam called Mlimani City. Mlimani City is not just a mall (which would already seem rather out-of-place in Tanzania): it is the very definition of the Western shopping experience. Every little detail is in there: bank machines, a movie theatre, two enormous supermarkets (at least one of which probably sells kitchen sinks), fashion stores, advertisements... the works. The bathrooms are door-less, but not in the usual Tanzanian sense: no, these bathrooms are door-less because their entrances curve around in a modern way so that non-hand-washers' pee will not be left on any door handles. This is Western shopping at its finest.
Walking outside the door of that mall, one is immediately struck by how hot it is in Dar es Salaam. Without air conditioning, there is a lot of sweat. A dusty half-kilometre towards the nearest taxi park is a crafts market. The intricate wooden carvings are supposed to be ebony, but buyer beware: dyed wood is more common. White people without Tanzanian accomplices will often be charged up to seven times above the standard prices. The Tanzanian craft vendors know they are taking advantage of their customers, but who can blame them? They are just making a living. Amidst the heat and dust and shouts, the crafts market seems to be on the opposite end of the world from Mlimani City.
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Magic
Challenge: delve into poverty: explain what I mean without (any mention of) money.
There is nothing magical about Africa.
Geldof may say there is. When I tell people at home that I am going to Africa, their eyes light up and they ask for details. I have met countless people in Africa—expatriates and Africans alike—who have said the same thing: life in the West is just... different somehow. Worse.
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Induction
Challenge: starting at
A
, make the first letter of each paragraph the alphabetical successor to the previous paragraph's first letter.All people use induction.
Before continuing, I should define my terms. Induction is the process of arriving at conclusions with incomplete information, based on trends. This is the opposite of deduction. For instance, if I claimed,
I have read every book I own
and,I own David Copperfield,
you would deduce that I have read David Copperfield, based on complete information. Deduction provides a valid conclusion, given correct information. On the other hand, if I claimed,the sun has come up every day for the past million years
and,tomorrow is a day,
you could not logically deduce that the sun will rise tomorrow: you can only induce it, based on our incomplete information (and our perceived trend) about moments in which the sun rises over all eternity. (Really, we only have reliable information for a tiny fraction of eternity.) In fact, there is no way to deduce that the sun will rise tomorrow. Heck, there is not even a way to deduce that the sun rose yesterday, since schizophrenia cannot be entirely discounted as the only reason you saw yesterday's sunrise. -
Kibaya
Challenge: In the spirit of backpacking, visit one place in each paragraph.
My weekend started Friday morning in Dar es Salaam. I packed a small backpack with essentials and hopped on the nearest dala-dala to get to the main bus station.
The bus, like any self-respecting African bus, was a land of adventure in its own right. Upon departure, the bus immediately pulled into a gas station for repairs: it was clearly broken before it started accepting passengers. The bus practically limped its entire journey; in the end, the ride was ten hours long when it should have been six. Squished between two inconsiderately large men, I whiled away the hours by alternating between sleeping and leaning away from whichever neighbour was least awake.
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My Job
Challenge: put a capital I in every sentence.
It is about time to explain my job in Tanzania.
I work for an organization called Femina HIP. Femina HIP is a rather famous media company which spreads information about sexuality and HIV/AIDS. It runs a television talk show, a radio show, periodicals, and several one-off publications. Distributing all these media requires a fairly well-organized system; and that is where I fit in.
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Too Much Money (Part 2)
Challenge: As a follow-up to Part 1 (which I recommend skimming, to set the mood), ask at least two rhetorical questions per paragraph. Note: again, do not be discouraged by the excessive cynicism, which is a direct result of this Challenge.
Imagine you are an accountant at a company. You notice that one of the contractors seems to be charging your company a lot of questionable expenses. You go to your boss to mention that this contractor seems dishonest. Before you can speak, your boss tells you to double the budget for contractors. Next, he threatens to fire you if your department stays under budget this quarter. You go back to your desk and sit down, staring at this inflated and slightly corrupt expense report which has just been put into perspective. What do you do? Firing the contractor would lead to a lot more work for you. In fact, any streamlining whatsoever could become career suicide, because your boss has told you that you must spend every penny or you will lose your job! Is this a budget or is it a quota?
When it comes to international aid, we are the company: the UN, the G8, the Pope, you, me, philanthropists, churches, our governments, and Angelina Jolie. Who is accountable to whom? NGOs are accountable to their donors, who are accountable to their donors, who are by and large accountable to Western governments and churches, who are accountable to their people. Us. Individuals. This is democracy, remember?
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Too Much Money (Part 1)
Challenge: Ask at least one rhetorical question per paragraph. Note: brace yourself for cynicism, as this Challenge is quite overpowering.
What would you do if somebody gave you a million dollars right now?
I can tell you what I would do: I would find an accountant and dump all but $10 000 into his machinations. Next, I would waste $1000 on movies, books, clothes, and many expensive dinners and drinks. Soon after, I would use the other $9000 to travel. In the end, it is clear that the $10 000 I spent was not necessary after all. And would I keep restraint with the rest of my excessive wealth?