The experience was somewhat cathartic for Adam. It was even more cathartic for Paula, though: about as cathartic as you can get.
My long-time readers know by now that I rarely share my feelings in my blog. I will not break that tradition here. Instead, I will posit here a question—or rather, I will question my reader's positions. Have you killed any person or animal with which you sympathized? (Pets count, though you have to have been watching at the very least.) Why? I have heard it said that we are lords of all animals and we should rule them wisely (I am in a convent). Do we have that right? Why or why not? And, most interesting to me today (though somewhat rhetorical): are you religious?
I ask about your spirituality in the spirit of abstract reasoning which hits me when I am out of my element. While sawing away Paula's life, it occurred to me that it may be easier for a religious person to kill than for an atheist. In the former case, my God wants this chicken dead and I am performing His will. In the latter case, this is simply a conflict of desires between me and Paula. I hold all the power and all the responsibility for the outcome, so my killing Paula is tantamount to my declaring myself ultimately right in the question of whether or not she should live.
God or not, I can reformulate the religion question completely: am I ultimately responsible for Paula's death, given that she would not have lived any longer had I not killed her? This is a different question, but not very different from the are you an atheist?
question in my mind. Mind you, I am still ignorant of all the different religions out there and their official answers.
How many soldiers, militia, rebels, or extremists are atheists or agnostic? I suspect the proportion may be rather low, because of the question of who is responsible for a killing. And so I encourage my atheist and agnostic readers not to pass up any reasonable opportunity to kill something in cold blood: it may just test your faith.